‘It’s hard to move forward in life when your mind is set in concrete’
What thoughts and beliefs do you have that are holding you back? Are they true, or are they what you only believe to be true?
Our thoughts are like water.
When water gets stuck in a hole and can’t move forward, it becomes stagnant. When it becomes stagnant, it begins to smell bad and become slimy. Anything good that still exists in it begins to die and it attracts nasties to it. Animals don’t want to go near it in that state.
However, as soon as new and clean water can begin to flow through the hole again, it becomes clean again, free-flowing with vitality, and attracts new life to it.
It is the same with our thoughts.
If we get stuck on old thoughts and beliefs, and allow them to stagnate and brew over time, any good thoughts and beliefs begin to die off. It becomes ‘stinking thinking’. However, as soon as we allow the free-flow and vitality of new thoughts and information, it can create new beliefs so we can make positive changes in our life. It can even attract new people into our lives!
How does this stinking thinking begin?
Most of our limiting thoughts and beliefs are not true, and were created in one of many ways :
a) It was a lie told to you when you were young, and you had no reason to doubt it.
b) It was an excuse to create a false sense of being 'safe'.
c) It was something you decided about yourself based on a single setback.
d) ..or any other reason.
Change your mind from concrete to plasticine!
Make it more flexible to other possibilities. Have the courage to accept that things can be different by at least considering alternative thoughts and beliefs.
When we challenge our limiting thoughts and beliefs, it creates the uncomfortable process of cognitive dissonance.
SimplyPsychology.org defines this as : ‘Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviours. This produces a feeling of mental discomfort leading to an alteration in one of the attitudes, beliefs or behaviours to reduce the discomfort and restore balance.’
If we don't want to change the thought because it is all we have known up until now, then we will continue to have to deal with the discomfort – and the lie. It may be that we don't want to have a realisation of 'being wrong'! After all, if I am 'wrong' about that thought/belief, who or what am I, or will be, without that thought or belief?! What else is 'wrong' with me?
The truth is, there is nothing 'wrong' with you! It is just your current belief. Beliefs are decisions we have made at some point in our lives, based on information given/available to us at that time.
When we change our thinking from being ‘wrong’ to ‘that was correct for me at that time’, it changes our whole perspective about our own capability for change.
When we start to consider other possibilities to our current thoughts/beliefs, we can discover one of three things -
a) It is true, and I am okay with that
b) It is true and I am not okay with that. What can I do to change my future? or
c) It isn't true AND I can safely make the appropriate changes and corrections to move forward from those thoughts/beliefs.
Chances are more likely to be option C!
Trying to change a belief about ourselves can be difficult. Those little voices in our head are very stubborn! Seeking external help can assist with the process, however, a partner, family member or friend may have a vested interest in the outcome (they may even created the lie!)
Breathwork Therapy can help you to find the source of your limiting beliefs and negative thoughts - without bias or judgement - and help you through your cognitive dissonance.
Many clients have come to me with old negative self-beliefs created when they were young by family, care-givers, teachers, peers, etc. These beliefs may have been the result of a lie, gossip, gaslighting, bullying, or downright nastiness, and has stuck with them consciously or unconsciously for 20, 30, 40 or more years. The cause may even still be happening.
Once they have examined these beliefs and discovered the origin, they can now see them for what they were – lies. Once they have the realisation that none of it is actually true, they become relieved, feel lighter and happier - sometimes even angry!
However, once they have worked through this process they find themselves free to move through life with more ease, comfort, and even with anticipation of more new information!
Isn’t it time to change your ‘stinking thinking’ to ‘belief relief’!